Fine Whine

I call to inquire – “you have to dispute it in writing.” What about the bill? “It won’t go to collections for three months, if you get another bill, just call to tell us you’ve disputed it.”

I get another bill. I call back.

Friendly computer-generated voice: “Your estimated wait time is 60 seconds”
…five minutes later…..
“Thank you for calling, our hours of operation are 9am-5pm. If you have reached this recording and it is between those hours, we apologize. Please try your call again later.”

Friendly computer-generated voice, who doesn’t seem at all apologetic at how our last encounter ended: “Your estimated wait time is 1 minute, 10 seconds.”

Less friendly human, who comes on the line two minutes later: “I see that you called last month.”
Me: “Yes, and I was told to call again this month if this hadn’t been settled, to let you know why it hadn’t been paid.”
Somewhat human: “Well, it won’t stop the bill from going to collections.”
Me: “I was told last month it was nowhere near going to collections.”
Allegedly human, after a long pause: “No, not for two months.”
Me: “So then I don’t have to worry about it going to collections.”
Perhaps human: “This won’t stop it from going to collections.”
Me: “So, will you make a notation on the account that it hasn’t been paid because of a written dispute?”
Human-like, after a longer pause: “I’ve made a notation. But that won’t stop it from going to collections. Is there anything else?”
Me: “No. Thanks so much for your courtesy and help.”