Fine Whine

What The Whiner does not understand — is why some people would create a virus/trojan/rootkit package so virulent and evil that its only real purpose is to destroy the hard drives of people who just happen to “be there.”

And not being able to comprehend the thought process behind something like that is probably a good thing.

There are approximately 300,000,000 people in the US. I would venture to guess that not all of them are Time Warner customers. But even if they are – only using TEN digits would give every single American their own account number, with about 700 million accounts left over for future population growth.

Why do I have to write 16-digits on my check – punch 16 digits into my phone keypad when I call for customer service – repeat 16-digits to the person who comes on the phone AFTER I’ve punched the 16 digits into the phone keypad?

From: The Whiner

Re: Doing Your Job

Stop with the artistic camera angles and positioning already. We just want to watch the game.

We don’t want to watch basketball from a camera suspended over the hoop. If you were at a game and someone said “Hey – I’ll trade you my baseline seats, for your seats at halfcourt” you’d tell him to get lost. So why the F do you think we want to watch from your baseline camera? (The same goes for the Fox NFL kickoff coverage from the end zone camera.)

Today’s specifics? The automated refill system at my local Rite Aid Pharmacy (although I’m sure the same thing happens at almost every other pharmacy in America in 2011).

Start of the month – time to call in the prescriptions.
10 am. My wife, like a good do-bee, “presses ‘1’ for the automated refill system.” Entering each of her prescriptions takes forever.
2pm. The Whiner ignores the automated refill system, “presses ‘3’ to speak with someone in the pharmacy,” ignores their exaggerated groan when he tells them “I have six prescriptions to refill,” and is done in less than a minute.
3:30pm The Whiner arrives at Rite Aid.
Guess whose prescriptions are ready for pickup – and whose are still waiting to be filled?

I’ve lived in Southern California for the last 10 years. And two things became quickly apparent.
1. Most parking lots are too small – and most parking spaces in those lots are tiny. (That’s because land here is so valuable.)
2. Most cars here are big – way too big for those tiny parking spaces. (Hummers and Range Rovers used to be a major part of the mix; these days, it’s mostly mini-vans and SUVs, ranging from big to enormous and usually occupied by one person.)

At first, it was somewhat amusing to watch people try to maneuver their cars in the small lots, and park their cars in the tiny spaces. Usually, it just took them forever. Occasionally, it led to accidents.
Very quickly, though, sharing parking lots with these people became a nuisance. Then, it became really annoying. Finally, it became a nightmare.
If you’re a typically laid-back, native Southern Californian, you take stuff like this in stride.
But if you’re from an East Coast city? Not a chance. It’ll drive you nuts.
And depending on the day, daily experiences like this can turn The Whiner’s state of mind from frustrated — to angry — to almost homicidal.

It used to be enough to call out to the flummoxed drivers, “Hey! Get a bigger car!” Not anymore.
I needed a more expressive outlet for my reactions. Thus was born Fine Whine.
I hope you enjoy it.